Month: October 2014

Creepy Boyfriend Contest: Edward Cullen vs Edward Rochester

Well, I have finished Jane Eyre. For those of you who don’t know, Stephenie Meyer has counted Jane Eyre as a major influence in her work, so of course I read it. It was sitting around the house, so I thought, why not?

My relationship to Jane Eyre is nearly as ambivalent as my attitude to Twilight. Like Twilight, I read it when I was younger. Unlike Twilight, I still think the hero is a douche. I think I bailed right around the time Edward R. tried to trick Jane into a fake marriage (I had very little patience for Byronic antiheroes back then. I think I was like nine). So, Edward R. is douchier. I don’t think that can be disputed; he whines more in 500 pages than his vampire counterpart does in 2,500. Edward C. is just self-hating, but I don’t recall him blaming anyone else for his problems.

But the real question: Who is creepier? Hopefully, I can answer this in less than a nineteenth century tome, but I make no promises. Continue reading “Creepy Boyfriend Contest: Edward Cullen vs Edward Rochester”

Glowy aliens, or, a review of Obsidian

Boys with abs. Boys who don’t know what they want. Boys who are supernatural creatures. Weird powers. Girls who can’t stand boys with abs who don’t know what they want.

All of the above elements can make a successful paranormal novel, under the right circumstances. This book threw them all together in a pot and forgot to add sugar and spice. It’s a shame, because this could have been a good story with different execution. But it was not. Here is why.

Our heroine, Katy, is a bit bummed about moving to West Virginia, but she understands that her mother had to get away from Florida, where they used to live with Katy’s dad. He died of cancer, and the family is only just beginning to recover form grieving. Worried that Katy isn’t getting any interaction, her mom forces her to say hi to the neighbors. Katy is greeted by a TOTAL HUNK. With abs. Did I mention abs? In retrospect, I think this is where things go downhill. Continue reading “Glowy aliens, or, a review of Obsidian”

Some sad news

Teddy, the kitten I sort of named myself after, died recently (my dog killed him. I’m still mad). We live on a farm, so all but the smartest cats generally get picked off by wild animals (or, occasionally, the wild animals in my backyard), so I’m sort of used to it, but I still really miss him.

Rest in peace, you little diva, you. May this blog be a memorial.

Okay, who else is sick of my Twilight obsession?

Unfortunately for my family, friends, and the internet, I’m not. But! I will be writing a review of Obsidian because it was free and I need to get back to actual purpose of the blog, which is writing book reviews. And then after that I’ll fill this blog with more Twilight because I really can’t help myself, apparently.

One messed up love triangle, or, Twilight as Genesis

I’ve been doing some reading on Twilight–seeing what the blogosphere has to say, furthering my obsession, etc. Anyway, I stumbled upon John Granger’s Mormon Vampires in the Garden of Eden. While I disagree with most of it (somehow, I doubt that Stephenie Meyer is subconsciously using Twilight to defend LDS doctrines), the passages about Twilight’s connection to Genesis jumped out at me. Obviously, Twilight has some very strong Genesis parallels (the quote at the beginning of the book, the COVER), but I hardly ever see anyone talk about it. Granger asserts that Edward is Adam and Bella is Eve, but that symbolism just didn’t agree with me, and I figured out why a few days later.

In one area, I can see the draw. Bella frequently describes Edward as an angel; in LDS theology, Adam apparently doubles as the Archangel Michael. But then comes the problem–Edward is already fallen. Bella isn’t the one tempting him to stray (technically, she’s trying to seduce him, but in light of Edward’s vampirism, I hardly think sex is the biggest issue here). If Edward has already fallen, then how can Bella tempt him? Edward is the serpent–after all, he is the one who places the apple on her lunch tray. Continue reading “One messed up love triangle, or, Twilight as Genesis”