Spoilers, just so you know. Oh, and here’s a song to describe everyone’s angst for your reading pleasure.
I am quite impressed with how efficiently you destroyed Bella’s self-esteem for all of eternity. Taking the “you’re cramping my vampire lifestyle” approach was simply brilliant. Indeed, it shows how well you know her–how else could you have convinced her to let you go? What can I say, the manipulator in me loves the manipulator in you. With that said…
I also hate you. You just left your depressed and fragile girlfriend in the woods over something someone else did. Whatever happened to “I’m not the most dangerous thing out there”? SHE COULD BE EATEN, EDWARD. BY MOUNTAIN LIONS. Or….BY WOLVES (heh heh). Continue reading “A letter to Edward, or, an epistolary review of New Moon”
In the beginning of Twilight, Edward is suffering from severe depression, but he doesn’t know it. He has reached the point at which everything has gone numb, music is an anesthetic, and unhappiness is the new normal. He has reached the human age of dying, and he would almost welcome death. But he can’t.
Edward is lonely. And still doesn’t know it. Enter Bella Swan, the girl with delicious blood and the chocolate eyes. In many ways, Bella becomes his new addiction, replacing blood, the one he can’t have. People may complain that Bella is unhealthily codependent on Edward, but it is worth noting that Bella interacts with other people besides Edward in Twilight and thinks about other things besides him. Midnight Sun is 100% Bella 100% of the time. Continue reading “Addicted to heroine, or, adventures in Twilight metaphors”