1. Listen to every single Coldplay album in existence.
2. Read the Brontes. Angst deeply.
3. SURF THE INTERNET, YOU MORON. IT’S WHAT THE REST OF US INSOMNIACS DO.
4. Write a novel. (This is also what we insomniacs do.)
5. Catch Pride and Prejudice 1995. All 6 hours of it. This should keep you occupied until dawn, after which the urge to watch Bella sleep will pass.
6. Surf Youtube’s endless videos on classical music. Rage at the pretentious comments. Write pretentious comments.
7. Stalk Mike Newton instead! Torture yourself with his unchivalrous fantasies!
8. Amazon has quite the clothing selection. Buy something non-beige.
9. Amazon also has this. You should probably read it.
10. How about more insider trading? You can never be too rich.
I know, I know, someone has to make sure Bella doesn’t fall off the bed and get a concussion. It’s a pretty thankless job, but what else are vampire guardian angels for?