1. Pretend to pay attention during History.
2. Sneak off to listen to Linkin Park because History is boring.
3. Laugh at Bella falling down.
4. Munch on the local wildlife.
5. Fantasize about munching on Bella.
6. Fantasize about not wanting to munch on Bella.
7. Buy more cars.
8. Buy Bella more stuff.
9. Debate with self whether to stalk Bella.
10. End up stalking Bella anyway.
11. Fantasize about not wanting to stalk Bella.
12. Rinse and repeat.
Oh, do we have a pickle. Wolfie, the dark horse of New Moon, wants to eat Kitty. Kitty wants to eat Nom Noms, but she’s too cute to eat. In other words, the drama continues.
The plot…the plot…Everyone knows the plot. Victoria assembles a newborn army, Edward tries the “buy the cow and get the milk” approach to get Bella to marry him, Jacob pouts a lot and becomes very creepy, Edward is also creepy, but in a less rapey way, and Bella puts up with way too much manipulation (courtesy of Edward) and douchiness (courtesy of Jacob). Continue reading “Kitty and Nom Noms: The Love Story, or, a review of Eclipse (MAJOR SPOILERS AND RAMBLING)”